Thoughts from a Balcony: Finish Line

People often say that life is a race. If that’s the case, then I am so far behind. In fact, I haven’t even started the race. I’m still looking for my running shoes. Everywhere I look, people are running past me and reaching incredible milestones, and there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do is focus on my own race, but that is so hard to do when everyone around you is doing great things. Maybe I’m holding myself back. I blame myself for where I am in life. I could have been so far. Done so much. The years keep passing me by and I am nowhere. I truly am in the midst of the worst quarter-life crisis of all time.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, more so after talking about it with a friend. If life is indeed a race, then where/what is the finish line? How does someone ‘win’ life? And who are we racing against? People our age? If so, why? Why must we compare everything we are doing to someone else? I ask all of these questions, yet I do this a lot. I am so far behind in this race we call life. I haven’t achieved anything of worth. I haven’t experienced or done amazing things. I guess I can say that I did not have certain opportunities that other people did, which is true, but I have a hard time telling myself that. If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would not be happy with how my life turned out, although I do believe that I would be happy I was finally dying.

I am tired of life. I wish I could just forfeit this race. But I can’t. I feel as if the world is against me. I am exhausted. I have friends but I feel so alone. I lack… companionship. This blog post makes no sense. It’s just me rambling, but I needed to get these thoughts out somewhere. I say this all the time, but I really think I am at the end of my rope… metaphorically speaking. Maybe the fact that I feel alone is a huge part of me feeling the way I currently feel. I feel so empty. I am just so lost in life, and confused and alone and I don’t know what to do anymore.

4 thoughts on “Thoughts from a Balcony: Finish Line

  1. I battle with this concept a lot – often being told to focus on your own timeline rather than someone else’s. Indeed it adds so much pressure on your own life to compete with others who are accomplishing great things, especially when they’ve done less work than you. It sucks. But c’est la vie. Nice contradicting songs to listen to for this, that I often go to, are:
    J Cole – Rich Niggaz
    J Cole – Luv Yourz

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I feel and think about this so much. Life isn’t a race or something to win. Social media adds pressure all the time. Just fuck it all. What matters most is just doing what we love and not comparing ourselves with others but I struggle with this so much too. Its good to have a social media detox and just being able to focus on ourselves. Just living is enough. Living a simple life is the most important and focusing on little things rather than big things. It also feels hard that some people have to work less to achieve things than others. Money and power are the worst combination possible. You are doing enough. You are you. I love you and take care šŸ’–

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right. Social media plays a huge part in this. I honestly wish I could just throw my phone away sometimes, but unfortunately, we need our phones for various reasons, especially to keep in touch with loved ones. I have contemplated just deleting my social media apps but that is how I keep up to date with news. It is a dilemma for me. Sometimes I do take a break from my phone though. I think I should do that again soon.

      Living life is enough. I agree. You are also doing enough. Love you too and take care xx

      Liked by 1 person

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